Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC)

June 25, 2009

I don’t have a lot to say about this one, believe it or not. Amazing, yes. And highly entertaining. First he’s missing, then he’s hiking the Appalachian Trail, then he’s off to “recharge” in Buenos Aires, then he’s having an affair. Awesome. To be honest, I don’t care that he’s having an affair. Kind of fucked up he’s off in Argentina on Father’s Day when he has little kids. Also fucked up that he’s a moralizing Bible-thumping jackass on a family-values kick WHILE AT THE SAME TIME off in Argentina having an affair on Father’s Day.

But best of all: remember during last year’s election when we heard all about Palin’s commander-in-chief experience? She was the commander-in-chief of the US National Guard Our Troops of Alaska of the United States of America or somesuch, and was all set to charge into battle should Putin rear his head into Alaska’s airspace or whatever. While Obama was only a community organizer or tree surgeon or something. Well, Alaska only has 700,000 people. South Carolina has almost SEVEN TIMES that. Shouldn’t that make Sanford Supreme Allied Commander of Our Boys In Uniform US National Forces Awesome Jesus Harm’s Way Shock and Awe South Carolina or something like that? And he’s off with the fer’ners for a week, and nobody knows where he is?? What if Hugo Chavez decided to rear his head?? Isn’t Argentina near Venezuela or Iran or somewhere? What if his girlfriend was a Cuban/Venezuelan spy and stole South Carolina’s nuclear codes?

On the other hand, of course, this is good for the Republicans. By going to Argentina, as opposed to just seeing it from South Carolina or something, Sanford now has foreign policy expertise.

By the way, Fox News identified Sanford as a Democrat. Just like Mark Foley. I guess once they have an affair they become Democrats. Damn liberal media.


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